i love you
i think of you every day
i shout into the silence about loving you as I have never loved anyone
i miss you
i miss your voice
i miss the galaxies in your eyes
i miss your mind, your cock, our life, your kids, your face, cleaning your glasses, planning a life, your arms, taking care of you, being your true partner, picking you up, believing in you, cheering for you, your love and support, showers, hours of piano sonatas, two dots, holding you till you fell asleep every night, my fingers in your hair, like this treasured place was blessed from on high
i miss being safe with you
i miss you telling me to slide to your side of the bed and wear your shirt and sleep on your pillow to be as close to you as possible
i miss facetime
i deeply miss watching you come to life, a life that i’ve now seen leave you as you put on a “good face” for the world while you’re starving.
i love as i’ve loved no other
you’re in my cells
if you told me god could take away the holocaust that our breakup has made of my heart, the unremitting and unbearable pain of losing you…but it meant i’d have to give up having known you, or even just five minutes of holding you, i’d say no. not bc of what you made me…but bc of what you made you. i love you for you, just you.
come home. we’ll take the boys. we’ll make it work. they’ll be safe. we’ll grow together. we’ll own the world, one kiss at a time.
i love you, tommy
good night